I've been sitting here in front of my laptop, determined to write a blog post. I have my schedule of blog posts in my weekly planner, and for a very good reason, I don't feel like writing about today's scheduled topic. I'll save it for later. At some point, staring out into space and pretending as though I'm somewhere else will not end in productivity, so I must find something else to write about. Something with substance.
What I do feel like writing about right now is hope.
Back in the good ole days of 2010 and 2011, when I really started to dive into blogging and YouTube, I created a blog called Insights. It was a place for eclectic writings and any random musings I cared to explore. Eventually, it evolved into writings about a spiritual journey I was on. I talked about relentlessly seeking joy and finding happiness and beauty in everything. Sound somewhat familiar? BDV is all about finding the beauty in life - it was really birthed from Insights.
The blog still exists and I found myself re-reading some of my old words, finding messages of hope everywhere. I am Christian, so I've written from a spiritual understanding of my faith and my walk with God. I occasionally read back and find little nuggets of wisdom that I didn't remember saying or writing. It has since been abandoned, but like a stone building, it has withstood some weathered times and provides refuge from the storms.
Tonight, I needed encouragement. My heart hurts and there's nothing I can do to alleviate it. I am grieving for something that I have no control over. It's a natural thing to do... but my pain and hopelessness feel close to drowning me. Reading back through my words, I feel comfort as I find familiarity in the words I once typed come back to remembrance. It's fresh in my mind, and I'm reminded of the steadfast heart, courage, and strengthened spirit I had as a younger person. I found her again.
If you are feeling hopeless, I hope that if you look back to a time where you felt safe and strong and pull that into your existing life. All the crap you've gone through was hard, so this current challenge that you're facing? Well, this is a piece of cake. You can keep going, so do. Believe - if not in a higher power, than in yourself.
So much love and strength to you all in your journeys.